Stranger Danger

    My husband always says that a cute child with special needs usually turns into a weird adult. That what is cute today, will probably just be strange in 15 years. As a result, I try very hard to be very tolerant and kind to other children and adults with special needs. I know that to most of you this seems obvious, of course one should be kind and tolerant to people with disabilities but to be honest it isn't always so easy. As I have said in the past, I was not born with an abundance of patience and so when I found myself in line behind someone who was a little off and taking forever, I became impatient. Or when a stranger who was strange tried to speak to me at the supermarket, I found it annoying. I am sure I can come up with a whole bunch of examples like this but I think you get my drift. In the last 7 years however, I have worked hard to change this.
     Being Yonatan's mother, I have not only become a more patient person (stop laughing, it is true. If you only remembered what I was like before...) I have also worked to be more tolerant and kind to people who are "different". One might say that not as many people as I think are "different" actually are, and that I would be better off not diagnosing every other person I meet with some form of autism or special needs, but the truth is, I really try to look at every person and treat them the way I would want them to treat my son. I would say that I have been successful in this endeavor.
     I have started drinking a Cappuccino Blast from Baskin Robins daily. I pull up to the Baskin Robbins next to my house every day at lunch time and grab my lunch to go. When I got there today there was a man in front of me in line. There was clearly something a little off considering the fact that it is summertime and he was wearing a ski cap and a jacket and had some difficulty ordering. After he finished ordering he turned to me, put his hand out and said "Hi I am Tom". The new tolerant and kind me put my hand right out and said "it is nice to meet you" and smiled at him. Great, no problem. Martha, my favorite employee at Baskin Robbins handed me my drink and I was on my way.
    Except, as I was leaving so was Tom. He walked me to my car and asked if we could be friends. He said that he had just moved to the neighborhood, had met Nicole and her child at the laundromat but was still looking to meet more people and asked if he could give me his roommates number so I could give him a call. No problem I said and took down his number and made a move towards my car. He then asked me what my name was and I said Mary (using my Coffee Bean and Starbucks name). As I turned to my car I noticed that he was lingering. At this point I started to get a little uncomfortable. I started to wonder if he might try to get into the car? Why he was still standing there? Would he ask me for a ride? Might he be dangerous? I told him I was going to leave now and he asked if he could watch me start my car. I said yes but told him to move back so I wouldn't hurt him and made a quick dive into my car and hit the lock button immediately. He then came to my window and asked me to roll it down at which point I told him that I really needed to leave. He said "bye Mary, it was nice to meet you" and waved. He was crossing the street while I waited for the light and waved at me for a full 2 minutes while I sat at the light.
    Here is the thing. I did not want to be afraid. I looked at him and thought, this could be my son one day. I wanted to treat him the way I would want people to treat my son and I truly believe that I did. But, even though I did the right thing, I was still afraid and throughout the experience kept thinking that I really wish I weren't and how sad it was that I was. Because really, Tom was just looking for a friend and because of whatever disability he has, he truly doesn't understand that meeting people in Baskin Robins is not an acceptable way to make those friends. But that is not his fault. At the same time, one really doesn't have any way of knowing who is friend and who is foe. In this day and age you have to worry that someone may jump in your car and attack you. I get that, I just wish I didn't have to see my sons 40 year old face super imposed onto Toms.