Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Now You See Him, Now You Don't

     I often say about my son that the most difficult part of this whole "situation" is how smart he is. That at every turn he outsmarts us and that whatever measures we put in place to protect him and keep ahead of him will ultimately fail because he is just. so. damn. smart. Truer words were never spoken.
      I have written more than once about my son running away. It has happened to us more times than it should. To be honest, it shouldn't even have happened once. As you know (if you read my blog) we have put many environmental controls in place to stop him. We have a double sided lock on our front door that requires a combination to get in and out. We built a new bigger and better fence and we put a GPS on his person. We stopped allowing him to play in front of the house even though he loved to and we totally secured the back. We don't really like the fact that we have to limit his world all the time but it is for his own safety and so we do. It does make us sad because he loves to be outside and so we are always trying to find ways to keep him safe and give him access to the things that he loves. It is not easy to find solutions but we try. We have hired someone who comes on Saturdays and spends the entire afternoon walking around the neighborhood with him. We never leave him unattended outside, we are constantly on watch. It is difficult to manage life this way and so wherever we can we try to find ways to give him freedom and still maintain our sanity. Easier said than done.
     About two weeks ago my husband figured out a way to tie the front gate closed in a a manner that my son could not figure out how to open. It was a great solution because this way my son could be outside and we didn't have to worry. It even worked for a bit. Until today when as usual my son outsmarted us. 
     My car was being washed in front of my house. I told the man washing my car that I was tying up the gate and that he shouldn't open it when he was done but that he should text me. My son was hanging inside the locked gate watching him and watching for the mailman and believing him safe I went back to work. About 20 minutes later my phone rang, it was my new babysitter telling me that Yonatan had run away. I ran outside and started down the block where I found the car wash guy running and searching for him. I looked up and saw him about a block and a half down and took off after him. I bumped into a neighbor of mine who saw me and told me she had been driving around following him because she didn't have my number. She was pretty sure this outing was probably not parent approved. Um,Yeah, Probably not! I hopped in her car and caught up with him about 4 blocks from our house where another neighbors babysitter was chasing after him trying to keep him safe as he ran through the middle of the street.
     How did Houdini do it you wonder? Well I did too, until the car wash guy explained to me that he hopped over the fence. He was there one minute gone the next. For a minute I thought, wow, totally didn't think he had the gross motor skills for that (secret proud parent moment) and then thought, oh shoot, do I now need to build a new fence. Not going to do that. So back to locking him in the house I guess.
     I hate that we always have to take things away from him. That the response to this is always to limit his life more than it already is, but what choice do I have. As his mother isn't my most important job to keep him safe and alive?
     You know what was most interesting to me about todays escape? I was totally calm. It was actually weird to me. Usually I am flustered, out of breath, sweating profusely and furious. This time, I of course took off running but I wasn't gripped by the usual fear that over takes me. I am not fully sure that I understand why. The same issues as always existed. He could have been hit by a car or kidnapped. He could have fallen and gotten hurt. Somehow, I wasn't nervous about any of that. Maybe it was because of the really nice car wash man who was out searching for him, or the fact that I know that everyone in this neighborhood knows him and looks out for him. Maybe it is because I know he won't get lost because he has an incredible sense of direction. Or maybe it is simply that I have been in this movie so many times and I feel confident that I already know the ending. Or maybe I am finally losing my mind. 

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Keep Your Second Hand Smoke To Yourself

     I used to say about people who smoked in public places that just because they were choosing to kill themselves didn't mean that they should be able to take others down with them. Not only are they blowing smoke my way or my kids way but they are blowing the worst part of the smoke at us. You can only imagine how happy I was when states began to make smoking in public places illegal. It's pretty much almost never a problem anymore and every once in a while when I encounter someone smoking near me and my family at the Coffee Bean or someplace else I simply get up and tell them that it is illegal to smoke within 10 ft of the establishment and off they go. Problem eradicated.
     There has been a lot said and written about the new measles outbreak. A lot of attention has been given to people who refuse to vaccinate their kids. There has been much talk about the fact that they have brought back illnesses that were completely wiped out and that they are endangering others and truthfully mostly their own kids.
     I want to add my two cents. I want to explain to those parents what they are doing to families like mine. If you read my blog you know that we often find ourselves in medical crises. Thankfully, to date, we have managed to come out unscathed. We may be a little battle weary but we are OK. Every time we end up in the hospital with Yonatan, I say that even though it is undiagnosed, I KNOW that my son has some type of immunodeficiency. I may not have a medical degree but mothers intuition and experience is all I need. Yonatan is that kid who gets everything. He is the kid who had HUS at an a very early age when kids usually don't develop it. He is the one who had the chicken pox even though he was vaccinated. When he had walking pneumonia, it turned into a full blown hospitalization because he wasn't breathing right and had a pulse oxygen of 86 when we got the hospital. He is the kid who had the crazy reaction to steroids that affected his liver function and landed us in the hospital, yet again. The kid that had the roto virus 6 times when there are only 5 strains of it. The boy who was hospitalized for the hiccups because we needed to rule out a brain tumor. The list goes on.
     My pediatrician has tried to reassure me by telling me that the chances of a child who is vaccinated getting the measles would be like "being struck by lightening" that 99.9% of kids who are vaccinated will not become infected.  Does it seem like we would be that lucky? I mean, when has Yonatan ever not been in the .01%?
     The measles for us would be deadly, because not only do I have a child with special needs with a compromised immune system I also have a newborn baby. A poor little adorable defenseless newborn baby who is too young to be vaccinated. So if my son who catches everything gets measles, that is who he is bringing it home to. That is who the parents who don't vaccinate their kids are putting at risk. Not one of my children but two. Can you tell me what my kids ever did to you or yours? Quite the opposite, my children are protecting your children because they have been vaccinated. You in your selfishness are relying on my children to offer yours their "herd immunity". So let me get this straight, you get to put my children at risk while also benefitting from my good sense? Really? Explain that to me, because I truly don't get it.
     Besides the fact that the study linking autism and other developmental issues to vaccinations has been proven false over and over again, consider this; I actually HAVE a child with special needs and I vaccinate my kids. Why don't you, what on earth can you possibly be thinking. More than that, did you even ask your kids their opinion on the matter? Did you allow them to be a part of the decision? I would guess not. I would guess that you decided without their input that they were better off without life saving vaccines. Are you sure they would agree with you? Do you think they want to be the cause of another child becoming ill or even G-d forbid worse? Do you think that they want to be singled out as the kids that no one is allowed to play with? Did your parents do that to you? Because I would venture to guess that all of you parents out there who choose not to vaccinate your kids were vaccinated as children. Did it cause you  much harm? You seem to be walking around just fine.
     So here is my request to you, if even after reading everything that has been written about the harm you are doing and assuming the law is not changed, you still refuse to vaccinate your kids could you just please keep your kids home until this is over. Give the rest of us some peace of mind. Hell have a chicken pox party with the other crazy families like yours like we used to have as kids. I'll even supply the oatmeal for the baths, just please stay away from me and mine.