Whiplash

     I know that they say that you never know what goes on behind closed doors and that you never know what difficulties and troubles other people face in life. I recognize that although it seems like people have it easier than you, they don't necessarily and that really you would never want other peoples problems.  That your problems are at least your own and known to you. Even knowing this, sometimes I still feel compelled to look to my left and my right. My husband always says that one of the most inspiring things he was ever taught, by someone who was truly an extraordinary role model, was to never do that. To wake up each morning, look in the mirror and say today is going to be a great day. Not to dwell on what others can do or have, but really to revel in what is great in your life.
     I try very hard to live by that. I really try to thank G-d for for all the wonderful things in my life and to learn from my experiences and feel good about my challenges. There are certain times of year that this becomes more challenging. It is not really anything major, or anything that has any huge impact but rather the little things.
     Summer vacation is upon us. It is a really fun time of year for families. Kids finish school and head to camp. They have short breaks before and after camp that are really meant to be family time. People go here and there. They travel by car or plane and try to do a few things during this time so that when their kids get back to school in September they have wonderful stories of fun filled days to share with their friends. I watch my friends plan trips and vacations. People take small trips to places like San Diego or bigger trips to Hawaii. They make big plans in advance or last minute ones and are gone and back before I even know it. It really is no big deal. For them.
     That's what gets me. It is things like this that have me looking to the right and to the left. For my family, a sunday trip to the zoo or Underwood Family Farms takes careful planning. It takes us a while to come to the conclusion that it is even a worthwhile trip to make. Committing to going someplace 45 minutes away, a decision most people make at 9:30 on sunday morning and execute by 10:30, takes careful planning and anlysis. We can't go anywhere without making sure to have another set of hands. There always has to be an exit strategy. All of this is for a local outing that may last 2 hours. Obviously, planning to go anywhere further is off the table.
    My 5 year had his last day of school today. When I picked him up he asked me where we were going this summer. Part of me wanted to tell him NO WHERE and don't be so spoiled! but the other part of me is upset for the boy who doesn't get to experience the things that many 5 year olds, and certainly most that he knows, do. I feel bad for him. I know that we have complications that others don't. (Having said that, we also have blessings and life lessons that others don't that are helping to shape him as well. This morning on the way to school, when talking about what he would ask G-d for, that same 5 year old told me that he would ask that his family be healthy. Pretty impressive, huh?! Second runner up in his requests was a lizard or a dog or both. My response was that he firsts needs to ask for another mother.)
     My husband would say that it is true, that we have different challenges, but that there are plenty of special things that our kids do get to do. That we may not go to Palm Springs or Hawaii with them but that we do visit my family in Israel at least once (often twice) a year. That we have our traditions, like going to the Coffee Bean, with our Aunt and Cousins, every Sunday which my kids look forward to and love. That maybe it is time to start splitting up and taking our other children to places like Legoland or wherever so that they can experience the things their friends do as well. To decide this is how our family experiences these things and to know that it is ok too.
     So this Sunday I am trying something new. We are going to take a family trip to Underwood. All of us. We are bringing two extra sets of hands belonging to grandparents and we are going to try it out. Exit strategy is in place, plans are set and we are off. It may not be a family trip to Hawaii but for us it is probably the equivalent of Cabo. A 2 hour flight is about the same as 45 minutes in the car, don't you think. We will see how it goes. Maybe it will be successful and maybe it won't. It may be the beginning of more activities or maybe it will be the first and final attempt. But at least we are trying it. I admit, the spontaneity is not there. I researched and thought about it. I asked friends who have been there if it seems like it could be a successful activity for us. I have hemmed and hawed and thought about doing it for months. But maybe, if it is goes well, next time we will be able to do it without over thinking it. Maybe if this is successful, we might consider trying something a little more extreme, like the zoo, and this may possibly be the start of a little less comparing to what others can do and embracing a little more of what we can do. Or not, and that will be ok too. At least I will have tried.