A Chance Encounter

     I once sat at a table with some people where one of them was telling a story about a family with many children who adopted another baby. When the child was two they discovered that he was autistic. The person telling the story commented on how amazing it was, that the family had decided to stick with it and keep the child. I remember thinking at the time, "what is so amazing about that?". I assumed that by then they loved the child like their own and anyway, this is not a choice to make. We are given the children that we are given and they are ours to love, no matter what.
     Today I met a woman who has a downs syndrome child. The child is 2 years old and adorable. We got to chatting and I learned that her and her husband had adopted their daughter at birth. She has three older children and as she put it "their baby just fell into their lap". I looked at her and said to her that she was amazing. That while I love my son to death and wouldn't change him or trade him in for the world, I don't know that I would be able to say that I would have chosen to do this every day. Now that I am doing it, I wouldn't turn back, but making the choice?!?!
     She looked at me and said that she is amazed by me. She said she had the choice and spent time considering it whereas I, did not. She thought that I was the one to be commended. It occurs to me that we are really only able to see our lives through our own vantage point. I look at her, and am in awe. I can not even begin to understand the strength it takes to decide to take on this challenge. I would like to believe about myself that I would have been that wonderful, but most of you who know me know, that I probably wouldn't have been. Truthfully, I am honest enough with myself to say that I likely wouldn't have been.
     It was fascinating for me to see myself and my life through her eyes for a minute. I don't mean whether or not I should be commended or that someone should think that it is wonderful that I am Yonatans mom. It is just who I am. It is more, that it never would have occurred to me to look at this as something I have chosen. It is just something that is, it is simply my life. I guess I am more shocked, that there are people out there who would find themselves in my position and say this is not something they can do or that they can't be that person or that mom (I am not judging, please do not misunderstand. It takes an amazing amount of strength and courage to admit that you can not be the best mother to your child). I am even more amazed, that there are incredible people out there who can and would choose to be that great. To be honest, I aspire to be her and I think her daughter is the luckiest child in the world.