You know the expression "it takes a village to raise a child"? Well in the case of a special needs child it actually takes a city or some may even say the entire state. With any kid it is safe to say that the parents, grandparents, teachers babysitters etc... are all involved in the raising of a child, with a special needs child you have the addition of the OT, the PT, the aides in the class, the speech therapist, whoever manages special ed in the school, the behavior therapists, the myriad of doctors, the entire state in which you live who helps with funding for all of the above people and in our case even the mailmen.
All of these people, who on a daily basis, assist in the betterment and the challenge of raising your child really become part of your family. You rely on them to give him what he needs and to help you learn how to help him develop. They come in to your home multiple times a week and are part of the fabric that makes up your day and your life. I can honestly say that we would not be where we are today, or probably anywhere, without these people.
It is because of the fact that they are so integral in the life of your child (as well as your own) that it is often heartbreaking when one of them moves on from their job. Like in all industries, people switch careers or move to different agencies and leave their previous positions behind. The problem is, that when you are the one being left it can be extremely difficult to find a replacement. More often than not you do not get to choose who the replacement is and usually the change can be very upsetting to your child. It can take months for him/her to build a rapport and a relationship with each therapist, doctor or caregiver and can take double that for them to let someone new in. In addition, to some extent, you have to teach them everything that the previous person already knew about your child and your child has to learn their approach and their way of doing things. While I recognize that this can happen with any child, it can be intensely magnified when it happens to a special child.
For more than 6 years I have been seeing the same pediatrician. They are a practice of 5 fantastic doctors but when it comes to my eldest I will only see mine or one other in the practice. It isn't that I don't think that they are all equally qualified and wonderful it is simply that I don't have the energy to have to give the history each time I visit the doctor. I am just way too tired for that. It is the same feeling with a new therapist, while I am sure the new one is probably great I really don't have the energy, or truthfully the inclination, to have to go through the "history of Yonatan" each time someone from our team leaves.
The truth is though, it is more than that. These people, the members of the "Yonatan Team" are part of our family. They each contribute immensely to his care and have made such an impact and difference in his life. When one leaves it is just like losing a member of your family and it is painful each time. It is difficult to watch your child have to adjust and it is hard to adjust yourself. Each time I get that dreaded phone call from a member of the team in which they make the "I am leaving the..." announcement I end up in tears. Not just tears running down the cheeks by the way, sometimes a whole crying jag. It is very difficult to lose and say goodbye to someone who has so incredibly impacted your life.
So while we wish you luck Alison please know that we will really miss you and move forward feeling very good about the fact that you have made a huge difference in a very special boys life. (you can feel a little bad about abandoning us too :)
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