Sunday, August 14, 2011

All good questions, no good answers....

     Recently, my 4 year old has begun to ask us lots of "why" questions. He is a very bright kid who doesn't miss a beat. He has basically been asking questions since the day he started speaking at 10 months. Question after question after question. As he gets older though, he is beginning to notice the differences between himself and his brother and has started to ask us about them. The first question came a few months ago when my parents and I took him to buy a bike for his birthday. Before we even got out of the car he asked me "Is Yonatan going to get a bike for his birthday too?" When I answered him that I wasn't sure he told me "oh right, his fingers are squishy so it may not be good for him". Not sure what that meant in his little four year old brain, but it became obvious to me that he was beginning to understand that something was somehow different.
     Now that he is a little older the questions have become clearer and more complicated. Things like "why if I am four and a half and Yonatan is six do I speak better than him?" or "How come I make poop on the toilet but he doesn't?", "Why can't I go to the same school as Yonatan?", "If Yonatan was in my school he would be in the same class as ....". With each new question, we struggle with the appropriate answer. Not because we are trying to hide anything from him (and even if we did want to, it's pretty obvious. Not much room for secrets here) but because we don't know how to respond. How do you explain to him that the brother that he so completely adores is "different". What does different even mean to a four year old or for that matter to an adult? I sometimes struggle with how to describe him to adults, since he is so complex, let alone to a child. What is the best way to convey this to a little boy without changing the way he see's his brother and without diminishing the way he worships him?
     I don't have any good answers. In fact, I am looking for help with this issue. I am sure there are plenty of books I could buy online or at Barnes and Noble to read to both myself and my 4 year old that could give me guidance, but I don't really want to. I would like advice from someone who has gone through this. Ideas from someone who has experienced it and knows what it is like to be in my shoes. So if anyone reading this knows someone who might be able to help me, or can help me themselves I would really appreciate being put in touch with them or speaking with you. You know what they say, it takes a village to raise a child!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Hard Habit To Break

     So, by now you all know how busy my life is ( as if you didn't already know before I started a blog). Most of you probably also know that I have recently started a new job. I am now doing sales for a company called Farmigo. Not to bore you with the technical details but, Farmigo has a web based software system to help CSA's manage their CSA programs. For those of you who don't know what that is, CSA (community supported agriculture). are those programs that you subscribe to for a season and receive a weekly (usually) share of organic, fresh, seasonal fruits and vegetables. I remember reading about CSA's for the first time in Bon Apetit about 7 years ago and turning to my husband and saying that I really wanted to join one of those. His response, which will not shock most anyone who knows him, was "that's ridiculous, you buy everything you need and more at the supermarket". He is ever the frugal one :).
     You may wonder why I am telling you this since you probably don't really care what I do for a living and in all likelihood don't have a farm and therefore do not need Farmigo. As a working mom, who works a full day, I often struggle with what and how I am going to put on the table for dinner. More often than not, my kids eat before I am even home from work and as a result the three most popular dinners in my home are Mac N' Cheese (and not the good kind that adults like), hot dogs and frozen french fries and chicken nuggets and frozen french fries. Obviously any kids dream. We go through ketchup in our house like other people go through water. I often think, that if I did not work full time, my kids would eat amazingly nutritious meals since I really do love to cook. Don't get me wrong, this is not me complaining about being a working mom. I do not envy stay at home moms, I do often revere them though. I am pretty sure that if I were a stay at home mom, someone would end up dead and I am not sure who would be on the losing, or winning, side (whichever the case may be).
     The thing is though, that my new job has awakened me to the need to give my  kids better healthier foods. I don't just mean NOT feeding them processed chicken nuggets and hot dogs full of nitrates. I mean feeding them organic grass fed meat and chicken and milk that isn't full of hormones that are causing girls to develop early and boys to have more estrogen than they need. I mean teaching them to eat as they were meant to. To eat those foods that are in season. Teaching them about polluting the environment less by not trucking their foods across the country. Helping them to understand the value in supporting your local businesses so that the smaller people don't loose to the bigger businesses that are thousands of miles away.
     More and more I have been hearing stories of younger people who have diseases that people their and our ages should not have. In the last few months alone, I have learned of more people than I can count who I have known for a long time, who have cancer. I can't help but think that part of the problem is what we eat and what we feed our kids from a young age.
     If you know me then you know, that I am the first one to let my kids eat snacks, I cook with oil, love red meat and bake with margarine. Substitutes like buttery sticks and Pam just don't do it for me. I don't usually think about these things but now think it is time I started to. I am sure things will not change over night, as we know, Rome was not built in a day, and I often really do need to rely on short cuts. I also need to work with what my kids will eat. for example, my oldest has difficulty with certain textures and really only likes specific foods.
     This time of year,  more than any other, we are reminded that we can not escape G-d and his plan for us. Regardless, I want to feel like I am doing my part. I want to feel that when I am drowning in the ocean and the whale offers for me to hop on his back, I realize that it is my chance to be saved. I know that if I don't start to change the habits in my home now, it will only get harder. I would like very much to stop hearing sad stories and only hear of people who have overcome the illnesses that they shouldn't even have had.
     I know what you are all thinking. Her biggest challenge of course will be her husband. Organic food can get really expensive :)
* If you are interested in learning more about CSA's or similar programs you can check out localharvest.org