Recently, my 4 year old has begun to ask us lots of "why" questions. He is a very bright kid who doesn't miss a beat. He has basically been asking questions since the day he started speaking at 10 months. Question after question after question. As he gets older though, he is beginning to notice the differences between himself and his brother and has started to ask us about them. The first question came a few months ago when my parents and I took him to buy a bike for his birthday. Before we even got out of the car he asked me "Is Yonatan going to get a bike for his birthday too?" When I answered him that I wasn't sure he told me "oh right, his fingers are squishy so it may not be good for him". Not sure what that meant in his little four year old brain, but it became obvious to me that he was beginning to understand that something was somehow different.
Now that he is a little older the questions have become clearer and more complicated. Things like "why if I am four and a half and Yonatan is six do I speak better than him?" or "How come I make poop on the toilet but he doesn't?", "Why can't I go to the same school as Yonatan?", "If Yonatan was in my school he would be in the same class as ....". With each new question, we struggle with the appropriate answer. Not because we are trying to hide anything from him (and even if we did want to, it's pretty obvious. Not much room for secrets here) but because we don't know how to respond. How do you explain to him that the brother that he so completely adores is "different". What does different even mean to a four year old or for that matter to an adult? I sometimes struggle with how to describe him to adults, since he is so complex, let alone to a child. What is the best way to convey this to a little boy without changing the way he see's his brother and without diminishing the way he worships him?
I don't have any good answers. In fact, I am looking for help with this issue. I am sure there are plenty of books I could buy online or at Barnes and Noble to read to both myself and my 4 year old that could give me guidance, but I don't really want to. I would like advice from someone who has gone through this. Ideas from someone who has experienced it and knows what it is like to be in my shoes. So if anyone reading this knows someone who might be able to help me, or can help me themselves I would really appreciate being put in touch with them or speaking with you. You know what they say, it takes a village to raise a child!
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