Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The Tooth Fairy

     Tonight, while I was at back to school night for my middle child, my oldest lost his first tooth. Well, not exactly his first, but his first spontaneous tooth loss. (The first two came out after an unfortunate incident with a swing and some unsupervised time with his grandfather- but that story is for another posting). When I got home, the babysitter pointed to the tooth, sitting on a tissue next to the kitchen sink, and said "oh by the way, I almost forgot to tell you...".
     As I stood there looking at the tooth I found myself feeling sad and melancholy. The truth is, that losing a tooth is a big milestone for a child. They watch it happen to their friends, their relatives and their siblings and they wait excitedly for it to happen to them. They hear rumors about the tooth fairy and try to guess who it is. They take that tooth and put it under their pillow and wake up bright and early to see what awaits them in the morning. Like I said, a really exciting milestone in any childs life. But, like most of these "normal" experiences, they are different in our house. My son likely doesn't care that he lost a tooth. It is not inherently exciting for him like it is for other children. He won't be excited about the "tooth fairy" and who she is. He won't equate losing a tooth with feeling proud and grown up. It will probably be just a blip on his radar. Far less interesting than the fact that the mail man came at 7 pm the last few nights which, by the way, has sent our daily schedule into a tailspin!
    If I hand him a dollar in the morning (inflation is out of control, when I was a kid it was a dime or a quarter) and tell him that the tooth fairy left it for him, he will shrug and tell me to give it to his teacher so that he can buy a drink from the lunch lady at school, which we do every day anyway. Like I said, just a blip on his radar. Nothing out of the ordinary.
     Maybe I should be happy. I never have to see his sad face when he realizes that there is no tooth fairy, and that is just me creeping into his room at night. I will save a good twenty bucks, nothing to sneeze at with the going rate per tooth, and I won't have to feel bad on the mornings when I realize that I forgot to make the tooth for money exchange during the night. I should look at this as "my luck". But, I don't. I want to experience those moments as a parent. I want my child to experience the joys of being a child. I still remember the little tooth pillow I had when I was a kid with it's little pocket for the tooth and a place for my loot. I want it for me and I want it for him. It is part of the myriad of pleasures that we should get to experience as parents.
     Maybe I am wrong. Maybe, he will wake up in the morning and be excited to show me that he lost a tooth. Maybe I will be able to explain to him that the tooth fairy came during the night and left him something. Maybe he will get it and with each successive tooth, I will be out a buck. If so, it will be the best and happiest $20 (or however many baby teeth we have) that I have spent. I don't know. But either way, I am going to try. I will get up right now and put the dollar under his pillow. Maybe, I am not actually doing this for him and really I am doing it for me, but that is OK too. I think, part of being a parent is doing things that make us feel good too.